Saturday, January 10, 2009

Marriage is not the answer to teenage pregnancy

Traditional Filipino culture , when a woman get’s pregnant, she should be married to the guy who is the father of the child no matter how young she is or unsure of her feelings. It is a big emabarrassment for the family.

I was only 18 and my boyfriend was 19 when I got pregnant to my first child and I was in my second year in college. I talked to him about my pregnancy and he said that nothing to worry about he’ll take care of me and our baby. We were scared we don’t know how are we going to tell to our parents about the problem.

When my Mom knew my pregnacy, I got the normal reaction, she was mad and dissappointed since I am the eldest and haven’t finish school. She want me to get married but I said ‘no’. I knew I was very young and not ready for the responsibility of being a mom and a wife at the same time. There’ll be lots of things that could happen, our feelings to each other might still change. My boyfriend’s parents did not agree too they have the same reason.

After giving birth, my Mom still couldn’t accept she was really hurt. My boyfriend’s Mom took the responsibility of taking care of our child. She wants us to finish school to have an assurance that we’ll be a good provider to our child. We continue our studies, we treated each other like just boyfriend and girlfriend we dated regularly we did not live together. I was a working student then but after paying my school tuition for one semester my Mom talked to me and said to stop working and focus in my studies. We got to see our child during vacations since his parents lived in the province.

We were lucky because somehow we still get to enjoy our teenage years since my boyfriend’s parents took care of our child. But we also had issues while growing up since both of us were not that mature yet. Sometimes he went out with his friends I went out with my friends too but we kept in mind that we both has responsibility to our child. We never talked about being committed to each other formally. We just continued to give respect, care and love for each other. I remember my high school friend said ” do not worry about your child instead think of ways how you can keep him, if you have him you’ll have your child too ” and I hanged on to that.
After we finished our studies and found a job, we decided to get married. Our child was already 5 years old that time. Now we are happpily married with two pretty girls. Im proud to say that we are indeed a good provider.

Getting married is not the answer to early pregnancy. It’s better to wait for the right time, when you’re mature and more establish in life. It maybe embarrassing for others but it’s better to move on and put in mind that you not only need to prepare for your future but for your child, eventually for your own family.

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