Saturday, February 28, 2009

How do you measure love?

Most of us when we love we expect that we will be loved the way we want to. I heard from a local actor that "we cannot quantify love" and I agree. Each of us has our own standard, our best may not be enough to others. What is important , we were loved the best possible way he could.

Making a relationship work takes a serious effort. Let's learn to accept the person for who he is, not who you want him to be.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Are you social networking?

Today's generation are really fortunate because internet was created. It does a lot of things in our daily lives like communication, e-commerce, education etc. With Internet, social networking started like Friendster, Multiply, Facebook. We can search people like old friends, classmates during high school and college. Users can join networks, add friends, send messages, and update personal profile to notify friends about themselves.

On my previous posts, I was able to share my experiences with my youngest daughter, Andy, who had congenital cataract. Her previous opthalmologist Dr. Froilan, who took care of her eyes when she was still a baby, migrated to USA. Andy will have surgery again this summer and her current opthalmologist is requesting for the medical records with Dr. Froilan.

I tried researching online and I found him in Whitepages, his contact number and mailing address are available. But had a second thought to call him on phone because he might not that open to receive a call from someone he is not familiar with, we were just one of his many patients here in Manila. One of the members on his household was listed in Whitepages. With Facebook I was able to find the person and sent an email asking if she's related to the doctor.

Thank God! She replied and said that she forwarded my email to Dr. Froilan and just wait for the response. At least we are now one step forward to gathering the medical history. I am hoping that one of these days Dr. Froilan will respond to my email.

Thanks to Facebook!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Online Video Games

Yesterday afternoon, I watched "Sweet Life" a talkshow from QTV. One of their discussions was about video games that most kids enjoy nowadays.

I remember when I was still a kid with my cousins, we used to play patintero, hide and seek, chinese garter for the boys they played basketball, baseball. I grew up in the province and we played mostly outdoor games.

Children in today's generation has different interest, they are now into high tech gadgets, chatting and playing games online. As parents it's alarming because kids spent most of their time if not on TV on online video games. It may reduce opportunities for talking as well as interaction among family members. It may somehow change the child's behavior and affects studies.

For me it's still best to engage our children into outdoor games or sports. However we cannot deprive then on playing video games since it's part of their generation. Depriving them sometimes can be the reason for them to hide or lie.
It would be best to set rules and regulations so we can prevent our kids to becoming video games addict. We can set a time and day where it's ok to play. Especially during weekdays maybe they can play after school an hour and maximum of 2 hours but this is after homework. During weekends we may increase their hours for playing.

Playing video games can be made also as a reward whenever they do good things. It can be a punishment to not play if they fail to accomplish what has to be done.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tuition fee hike...

I don't have an educational background on Economics but I guess everybody whether in America, Asia or Europe is affected by the global financial crisis. Two nights ago I heard from the news that there are private schools that will have a tuition fee increase this coming 2009-2010 school year.

As parents, we cannot sacrifice the quality of our children's education. There are parents who would give up and transfer children to public schools but some still prefer sending their kids to private schools. We always allot a budget for our children's education but sometime we have financial emergency that without any choice we use our savings.

I thought of an options that we can take just in case we don't have someone whom we can run to in this kind of situation.

1. Installment Basis

Most schools offer installment plans. I got two kids, normally we paid our children's tution fee quarterly. Just imagine how much financial stress we have, my husband and I works as a regular employee only.

2. Government Pension Fund

If you are a member of any government pension fund like
Social Security System (SSS) you can have a salary loan payable in two years.

To be able to borrow a loan equivalent to a month salary, you must have posted 36 monthly contributions prior to the month of filing for the loan. You can borrow 2 months salary if you've made 72 contributions. It would be best to contact
SSS to find out the maximum loan amount.

3. Bank Loans

Banks offer a non collateral personal loan which you can use for the children's tuition fee. My friend told me that
Chinatrust Bank offers personal loan with 12, 18, 24, 36 months flexible terms at a very competitive rates.

Personal loans can be much easier for families to manage since there is a specific repayment plan which can be incorporated in your budget.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

don't go to bed angry

Arguments and fights happen to any married couples. Some believed on the phrase, "don't go to bed angry". Yeah it is hard to sleep when you're angry but the phrase may work to other couples but not to everybody.

With my marriage, we normally sleep on it (lol). We resolve conflicts when we're both calmed down. Imagine two persons living together on one roof with different personality it takes a huge effort. It's best to give each other a personal space. But sometimes we go to the mall, treat each other, buy something for each other just to relieve stress.Then when we go home, that's the time we discuss the issue.

Listening is very important, each one should be given ample to time to talk and be heard. However, don't wait too long to discuss any unresolved issues. Each one should have an initiative to patch up things, it should always be a teamwork.

I agree to the saying "Go to sleep and look at the subject afresh in the positive light and mood of the day".

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Reasons to Make Love..

Modern moms don't just stay at home and take care of the family, we are also a career woman. Sometimes because of the hectic schedule, when we come home we just wanted to go to bed and take a rest. But, is good night kiss enough for us and to our man? Sometimes we would say "not tonight, honey"..oooppss..why don't we think again. Let's try to realize the benefits of lovemaking.

1. Sex is good for our health. Studies said that couple who have sex regularly have a higher level of diseases fighting anti-bodies than those who didn't.

2. Sex creates enegy. We work full time, attend to the needs of our children. At the end of the day we are so tired that we no longer have enough energy to bond with our husband. Making love creates a connection that soothes women when they're exhausted. We feel more closer and more relaxed to our partner afterwards. Instead of saying "I'm so tired I can't afford to have sex" we can say "I'm so tired, I need sex".

3. Making love regularly can help the overall cholesterol level. It positively changes the ratio of good-to-bad cholesterol.

4. Sex is bonding. It makes you feel connected to your partner and is important for a strong long-term relationship. Sex isn't just about sex it is about being intimately connected to each other. Sex is an importantt part of marriage as any other part. Sex is one way of creating time for each other.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Clash over in-laws?

During our younger years our parents thought us different beliefs in life, our parents wants us to be responsible and better persons. But how are we going to deal if your in-laws has totally different background and upbringing in life. Let us not forget that when we married our man we didn't just accept his whole personality but also his family (parents, brothers, sisters), it is a whole package.

Investing time to know our in-laws better at the start of marriage is important. Yes it's easy to say than doing it but we should make an effort.

While reading online I was able to come up with suggestions on how to settle and resolve conflicts with our in-laws.

1. Learn to listen - Allow both parties equal time, each one should be given enough time to express what they need from the other party. There is a time to talk and a time to listen.

2. Give and take - After hearing the other person's side and determine what you are willing to give and ask if that would be ok to the other party. If it is enough then a resolution is on the way. If not ask what would make it sufficient.

3. Be open - Identify what you need and want from the other person. Never assume that the other person knows what you are thinking. When you are angry cool down first before negotiating.

4. Compromise - Make expectations realistic and do not aim for an ideal situation. A compromise happens when both sides reach an amiable settlement.

We have differences in life, one may agree how we were brought up by our parents, some may contradict to what we believe. But if we give respect to each other's point of view we can live harmoniously. As adults, let's learn from our differences.