Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Clash over in-laws?

During our younger years our parents thought us different beliefs in life, our parents wants us to be responsible and better persons. But how are we going to deal if your in-laws has totally different background and upbringing in life. Let us not forget that when we married our man we didn't just accept his whole personality but also his family (parents, brothers, sisters), it is a whole package.

Investing time to know our in-laws better at the start of marriage is important. Yes it's easy to say than doing it but we should make an effort.

While reading online I was able to come up with suggestions on how to settle and resolve conflicts with our in-laws.

1. Learn to listen - Allow both parties equal time, each one should be given enough time to express what they need from the other party. There is a time to talk and a time to listen.

2. Give and take - After hearing the other person's side and determine what you are willing to give and ask if that would be ok to the other party. If it is enough then a resolution is on the way. If not ask what would make it sufficient.

3. Be open - Identify what you need and want from the other person. Never assume that the other person knows what you are thinking. When you are angry cool down first before negotiating.

4. Compromise - Make expectations realistic and do not aim for an ideal situation. A compromise happens when both sides reach an amiable settlement.

We have differences in life, one may agree how we were brought up by our parents, some may contradict to what we believe. But if we give respect to each other's point of view we can live harmoniously. As adults, let's learn from our differences.

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