What are your Marriage Habits?

I heard from one of the afternoon TV show that 'marriage is a very complicated business'. Two people live together with different personality, different life experience and different expectations.

While growing up I always encounter this quotation "love is patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It does not hold grudges and hardly even notices when others do it wrong".

I got a friend who's also married and I ask him about his marriage. He said that from the start they set house rules and put it in writing and even framed it. Funny right, but it worked for them. Whenever one of them violates they go back to it and talk.

While reading online I got this page 'Seven Habits of Successful Couples'. I really really liked it.
-Give each other pleasure do not cause pain
-Create love and friendship rituals
-Create a safe space for open and honest sharing
-Work together to resolve conflict and crisis
-Turn toward each other, rather than away
-Schedule time for love
-Create meaning in your relationship

Writing down and exchanging each others expectations is really effective. You don't have to guess anymore. Constant communication is important, let's try to know our spouse deeper,know his/her thoughts, feelings, desires, and dreams.Share it with each other and dream together. By these, you two create and share the meaning of life together.

I am not a perfect wife, this 'Seven Habits of Successful Couples' I will give it a try.

What to do when your husband is cheating?

My friend called me asking me how would she know if her husband is cheating. I was speechless for a minute I didn't know how to respond. She said that her husband used to go home early but now he always come home late and use his work as an excuse. His cellular phone is always in his pocket and the inbox is always empty and he is cold.

These couple are both my friends in college and it will really hurt me if I hear that bad things happened to their marriage. They have 2 kids and are still very young. I don't know what to advice her I am not an expert. What I know is that it's a human nature that we get attracted to other people anytime in our lives.

Cheaters always lie but they say woman's intuition is very strong however we cannot just confront our husband without any proof or validation. As a friend I told her to talk to her husband first about it. In my opinion it would be best to make a plan then choose the right time and place where you will have privacy so you can discuss things out.

I told her to be ready in case the husband admits. If he admit then this is really painful but she should decide if she can forgive and keep her husband. I guess if she can keep this just between the two of them the better, we don't know how the family would react especially the in-laws if they know it.

Marriage: A work in progress

I enjoy reading magazines about family and marriage, one of the articles said "Marriage: A work in progress". I continue reading it and I realized that there is something in common with my marriage and the article.

My husband and I started as a friend. We've been hanging out with common group of friends before we started dating, up to now we remained the best of friends. We can talk about anything and everything to each other.

As a couple we support each other and face life together but I believe that it's important to have an individuality. Our society is used to see women staying at home performing domestic responsibilities. As modern woman, I continue to grow and pursue what I want. I agree that we have to love ourselves first so we can love others.

Marriage should be constantly evolving with both parties adjusting to one another. Both should work hard to appreciate and understand each other deeper. We must continue to know each other and learn to deal with our differences. Just imagine how nice to share a life with someone.

How do you measure love?

Most of us when we love we expect that we will be loved the way we want to. I heard from a local actor that "we cannot quantify love" and I agree. Each of us has our own standard, our best may not be enough to others. What is important , we were loved the best possible way he could.

Making a relationship work takes a serious effort. Let's learn to accept the person for who he is, not who you want him to be.

don't go to bed angry

Arguments and fights happen to any married couples. Some believed on the phrase, "don't go to bed angry". Yeah it is hard to sleep when you're angry but the phrase may work to other couples but not to everybody.

With my marriage, we normally sleep on it (lol). We resolve conflicts when we're both calmed down. Imagine two persons living together on one roof with different personality it takes a huge effort. It's best to give each other a personal space. But sometimes we go to the mall, treat each other, buy something for each other just to relieve stress.Then when we go home, that's the time we discuss the issue.

Listening is very important, each one should be given ample to time to talk and be heard. However, don't wait too long to discuss any unresolved issues. Each one should have an initiative to patch up things, it should always be a teamwork.

I agree to the saying "Go to sleep and look at the subject afresh in the positive light and mood of the day".

Reasons to Make Love..

Modern moms don't just stay at home and take care of the family, we are also a career woman. Sometimes because of the hectic schedule, when we come home we just wanted to go to bed and take a rest. But, is good night kiss enough for us and to our man? Sometimes we would say "not tonight, honey"..oooppss..why don't we think again. Let's try to realize the benefits of lovemaking.

1. Sex is good for our health. Studies said that couple who have sex regularly have a higher level of diseases fighting anti-bodies than those who didn't.

2. Sex creates enegy. We work full time, attend to the needs of our children. At the end of the day we are so tired that we no longer have enough energy to bond with our husband. Making love creates a connection that soothes women when they're exhausted. We feel more closer and more relaxed to our partner afterwards. Instead of saying "I'm so tired I can't afford to have sex" we can say "I'm so tired, I need sex".


3. Making love regularly can help the overall cholesterol level. It positively changes the ratio of good-to-bad cholesterol.

4. Sex is bonding. It makes you feel connected to your partner and is important for a strong long-term relationship. Sex isn't just about sex it is about being intimately connected to each other. Sex is an importantt part of marriage as any other part. Sex is one way of creating time for each other.